Monday Deadline
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A work in progress

by Admin on January 23, 2012 at 3:23 am

Sorry for the delay folks.

I know it’s been a while since there was a new story, but we’ve been busy trying to get this new website in order. Yes, you can say it’s unprofessional, and perhaps we should have figured out all of this stuff beforehand. That’s all true. But when you work slave hours at the Sideshow, you can only do so much extracurricular activity per day.

As many of you know, we used to post our stories and comics on another website. The main reason we decided to transition over to our new home, Monkey Duty, was because of the comic friendly blogging platform. But as you might expect, learning a new software platform can be quite challenging and requires alot of work.  Modifying something  as trivial as a font color can be difficult if you’ve never done it before.

But as you can see, we’ve made alot of progress (at least with the font colors!) In addition, all of your favorite Sideshow stories have been migrated over for your continued enjoyment. Some of them still need formatting improvements (which were lost in the transition) but slowly, we are  getting there. Thanks for your patience.

We promise a new exciting Sideshow story in the near future. In the meantime, feel free to go back and read some of the older stories. There’s alot of them and frankly,  even I forgot how funny some of them are.

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Welcome to MonkeyDuty.com

by Admin on January 16, 2012 at 1:46 am

Thanks for visiting the official site of Monkey Duty comic strip.  Be sure to check out our About page and Meet the Characters page.  It’ll tell you everything you need to know about the comic strip, with a new one each week.

We’ll also throw in some funny stories throughout the week of some real life experiences we’ve had at work.  Just like this post, they will be posted below the comic and can also be found at the Stories link to the right.

Enjoy!

 

3 Comments

Promoted

by Admin on January 10, 2012 at 3:56 am

Every now and then I almost convince myself that management decisions at the Sideshow aren’t as bad as I make them out to be, that perhaps I tend to exaggerate things. But every time I do, something like this happens.

A coworker of mine, who is actually half way descent, just returned from a 6 month leave of absence. Taking 6 months off isn’t that big of a deal, and I actually think it’s a good way to throw rocks if you can afford it. But what boggles my mind is that, the day he got back from his leave of absence he got a promotion. That’s right, taking ½ a year off, only adding cost to the Sideshow, lead to a promotion.

In the meantime, I’ve been mentoring people 2 levels above me, doing a good portion of Queen Perfume’s work, babysitting “senior” engineers, and working over the holiday break… and what do I get? Absolutely nothing!

Because the fastest way to the top is to take vacation, I throw rocks.

- Jacko

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Don’t Call us, We’ll Call You

by Admin on December 21, 2011 at 5:51 am

This story was submitted by a long time fellow rock thrower. He left the company about 6 months ago but still gets reminded of his past almost everyday.

“When I worked at the Sideshow, I never liked working in my cubicle.  Having my cubicle neighbor insist on using the speakerphone to call someone a few cubes away or cussing at her mom on almost a daily basis, I’m sure you can understand. So I’d spend my day walking around or hanging out at my friends cube.

Since the Sideshow wouldn’t approve a cell phone for me, nor could I have voice messages forwarded to my pager, I decided to have calls to my office voicemail forwarded to by personal cell phone. I figured this would make it seem like I just stepped away from the cube if my manager called or something like that.

Well when I left I asked my manager and HR what would happen to my voicemail and the call forward feature. The both assured me it would automatically be disconnected within 24 hours of my last day and I didn’t have to do anything.

Well guess what? My Sideshow voicemail is still active and I get a forwarded a call about once a day. I tried contacting King Kong multiple times without success. I finally got a hold of him and told him my situation. He said he’d have to submit a work order to get this fixed but would have to do a lot of extra paper work since the work order was for a phone number no longer associated with an employee. That was 2 months ago, and so far today I’ve received 3 forwarded messages.

Because I’m reminded daily that I worked at the Sideshow, I still throw rocks.”

- Jacko

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You’re a mean one, Mr. Guard

by Admin on December 20, 2011 at 6:45 am

As it’s been pointed out many times before in the InSecurity posts, the contracted security brings us safety only the Sideshow could be proud of. I’m sure this story would bring even a smile to the Grinch.

Last Friday I saw a Sideshow legend (on the status of Bob), trying to bring in pre-wrapped presents to give to all the managers he works for and all of their office administrators. Much to his surprise, after walking past the same InSecurity guard for the past 2 years without ever being asked to inspect a bag, the guard asked to see the bag full of presents.

After a long explanation the InSecurity guard was not satisfied and demanded that all the presents be unwrapped so he could inspect them for security threats.  The best part was that during this whole incident other employees were walking in with laptop bags and oversized purses without being checked at all!

Because not even the Grinch could come up with such an awfully good security plan, I throw rocks.

- Jacko

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Mr. Sunshine – The Writing is in the Heart

by Admin on December 13, 2011 at 7:29 am

 


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Queen Perfume’s Reply

by Admin on December 6, 2011 at 7:24 am

Not too long ago, a co-worker found a way out of the Sideshow! With about a week before his final day, he sent out a mass email to all the people he worked with through the years saying good-bye and giving thanks for all of the support they provided. That is not what this post is about; it’s about the Queens response.

Despite being out on her leave of absence, the Queen still took time to respond. At first my friend thought the Queen was going to wish him the best of luck, and thank him for doing most, if not all, of her work during the past year.Of course, he was wrong.

Instead, the Queen replied with, “Before you go, can you finish this one task so I won’t have to deal with it when I get back?” After a good chuckle, he immediately deleted the email.

Because not even Bill Lumbergh could out-sleaze Queen Perfume, I throw rocks.

- Jacko

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The (Revolving) Door Code – III

by Admin on November 29, 2011 at 5:16 am
It’s not bad enough that the door code for the front and back doors randomly change without notice, even labs within those walls have door code locks.  And these have their own Sideshow twist.

So we all know that if you don’t know the door code for the front door, you just have to wait until someone eventually opens the door (of course the time you wait gets charged to the company). But what about a seldom used lab door code?

Easy, you just look for the penciled in door code on or near the door. That’s right, someone always writes the super secret lab door code on the wall next to the lab door.

Because the writing is on the wall at the Sideshow, I throw rocks.

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Mr. Sunshine on Canvas

by Admin on November 22, 2011 at 8:01 am

 

1 Comment

We’re Here to Pump You Up

by Admin on November 17, 2011 at 8:23 am

What used to be a descent sized break room,with vending machines and  chairs, is now half the size it used to be. The other half was turned into the latest thing for managers to brag about: a gym!

Of course the gym was done in pure Sideshow style.

The gym is a whopping 10’ x 10’ ft room, with low ceilings and packed with so many exercise machines that only one person can walk in between them without. If two people need to pass by, one of them has to climb onto a machine to make room. In addition, the only air circulation is a tiny ceiling fan mounted in the corner, which you can’t  even feel unless  you’re standing directly in front of it.

To help cover any chance of worker lawsuits, you need a waiver from the medical office (assuming you can even find the medical office and that it’s actually open when  you do find it). In the waiver, you must state that you’re in good health and won’t hold the Sideshow liable for any injuries or any medical complications resulting from using the exercise equipment.

Because much like Hanz and Franz, the Sideshow’s attempt to pump you up is a complete joke, I throw rocks.

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